Down With Hallmark....Love Is Not Enough!!

It's probably better that I have little to no people reading this blog...Because this entry is going to be a doozy....

Ok, I'm going to say it.....

I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE!

I think it's a huge crock made up by the movie industry and Hallmark. Come on, if you're about to sign out, you can't honestly think that you haven't heard this before? I am NOT the first person that has ever said this. The thing that people call "love" is a chemical process that slowly disintegrates over time and whatever you're left with is the rest of the story (a lasting relationship, or a break-up).

It's called compatibility, people. Why haven't we grasped that yet? E-harmony has....that's why they give you a million and 1 questions. They know that in the end, you have to LIKE the person and their values.

If your relationship becomes really hard to maintain and you ask someone, "Why are you with me?" and their answer is "Because I love you"....

RUN!

Love is not real.

Dirty socks are real. Your stuff, their stuff.....That's real. These things need to be worked out before you decide that you are in it for the long haul. Living together is great....Write down your expectations. Be honest.

Be worse than honest. Be Brutal...Do you fart in the middle of the night? Tell the person you care about that you could send a neighborhood underground in fear of their lives.....

Are you a slob? Make your place ten times worse and invite your significant other over to see the reaction....

Are you up with the sun....Do they sleep in?....this may not be huge now....You LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE the person right now. Just wait. When your honey is complaining that you are being too loud at 10am and half of your day is shot to hell.....It will happen when they get comfy enough to start giving you a hard time....

My Grandmother always said to marry your best friend. I would have, except he was a 6 foot 5 inch gay man and not terribly interested in me that way. It makes sense though, doesn't it? Your best friend embodies all of the qualities that you have. You don't choose friends that are polar opposites.

LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH!!!! You need understanding, truth, caring and connection. Honesty about who you are. Understanding about what happens when two lives merge. Caring enough about each other to handle the speedbumps.

And the true connection that will keep you together through the tough times. Love is a myth. A card that I threw in the trash a long time ago.

By the way, I am not a cynic, I am a realist.

OCD and OC Duh....

It's very difficult to help people understand how the mind of someone like me works if they don't own it. Let me give you a true life example of this...

My Significant Other....We can call him J works all day long. That's what he does. We have traditional roles. ie. He goes to work in the morning at 5:20 and gets home around 4:30 in the afternoon and I stay home and make sure that everything in the house is done.

Sort-of.

Asperger's makes me question everything 1000 times over. Mostly dinner and things like that, but it's worse with J because he's reaaaaaaly picky about a lot of things.

Anyway, I spend most of the day cleaning, running errands and stuff like that. Domestic goddess things. Don't let yourself think for a second that I'm sleeping in and going to the spa...I get up at about 6 am and I do work....I'll get to that later. I clean, a lot.

J is a packrat and a slob. I have told him this, so it's no secret, he's not dirty, he just leaves his things EVERYWHERE! And that's because he lived alone for 10 years. So, I go behind and pick it all up. No biggie...Until Friday.

Friday J walks in from work later than normal, sits down for a second, chats with me, goes into the kitchen to get a drink then proceeds to pick up the catch plate under the stove burner and washes it in the sink.

Now this doesn't seem like a big deal to the lay person....Until you are privy to the information that this is the man that can't manage to move his dirty underwear to the hamper. If there is no hamper present, he drops them on the floor next to his dresser 3 feet from the hamper area and claims that he "doesn't want me to trip on the pile."

NEWS FLASH: I walk an arch around the area regardless....because of my OCD. The hamper goes there, so in my mind, it's always there....

So, there he is....In the kitchen. In his work clothes. Washing the catch plate. The only NOT CLEAN thing in the house.

My mind is thinking: Ungrateful, POS, Thankless, Why Do I Bother?

We did discuss this....He claims that he can't help it.

OK, and the laundry is just going to hop into the hamper on it's own, huh?