The Outhouse In My Backyard

You've never been uncomfortable until you've had to squat and pee in your backyard in the freezing cold, in your slippers, in the middle of the night in December.  I know this because last night I had to. 

I could have gone to a hotel, J said.... But I'm sure that would have been added to the laundry list of faults that I have.  It's bad enough that THIS is my fault.  Not just mine, but my daughter's and mine.

Apparently, we use too much toilet paper.  And we wipe ourselves too much.  My daughter and I did have a conversation about this at one point, but unfortunately, standing over her everytime she goes to the bathroom is demeaning.  Plus, it's not just her.  I am half to blame here, because of course, J never wipes himself.  He goes to the bathroom and is miraculously and gloriously germ-free after. It is only us.

When I mentioned that I was sorry for causing the backup in the drain in the basement and that I would cover whatever cost was involved in fixing it, he said "Don't worry about it, it's my house, I'll take care of it".
Wrong answer.  I didn't say that it was HIS house when we were cleaning up dirty water from all over the floor in the basement for two days.  I was right in there with him. 

We can't use any water. No flushing, washing, running water etc.

And as I write this, I have to pee so bad, I can't stand it!

Kiss My Louis Vuitton Ass!!

My birthday came and went and I'm still here.  Except now, I'm 35.  Wondering what I'm supposed to do with my life.  The only reason that I am sitting here doing nothing is because I feel like the universe will tell me what to do when it's ready.  I'm sure that sounds completely asinine, but that's how it feels.

In the meantime, I have been evaluating certain things.  Like being where I am right now.  My one follower can't see where I am right now, so I will explain.

I am on the couch in someone else's living room.  It's my laptop, but not my couch.  My dog is on the floor next to me, but it isn't my floor.  I clean it, but it isn't mine.  I only have a few things here.  But I clean everything.  The walls are bare.  I have pictures, but I won't put them up, because I don't want retalliation. 

The last few days have been filled with thinking over years of bad decisions.  This was the last one I will make. 

I just wish that someone could learn SOMETHING from me.  If he lies, he will ALWAYS lie.  It won't ever change.  And it means that he doesn't give a crap about you.

I wonder if he has realized that I sent back the Louis Vuitton scarf that he got me for my birthday, yet?