The Outhouse In My Backyard

You've never been uncomfortable until you've had to squat and pee in your backyard in the freezing cold, in your slippers, in the middle of the night in December.  I know this because last night I had to. 

I could have gone to a hotel, J said.... But I'm sure that would have been added to the laundry list of faults that I have.  It's bad enough that THIS is my fault.  Not just mine, but my daughter's and mine.

Apparently, we use too much toilet paper.  And we wipe ourselves too much.  My daughter and I did have a conversation about this at one point, but unfortunately, standing over her everytime she goes to the bathroom is demeaning.  Plus, it's not just her.  I am half to blame here, because of course, J never wipes himself.  He goes to the bathroom and is miraculously and gloriously germ-free after. It is only us.

When I mentioned that I was sorry for causing the backup in the drain in the basement and that I would cover whatever cost was involved in fixing it, he said "Don't worry about it, it's my house, I'll take care of it".
Wrong answer.  I didn't say that it was HIS house when we were cleaning up dirty water from all over the floor in the basement for two days.  I was right in there with him. 

We can't use any water. No flushing, washing, running water etc.

And as I write this, I have to pee so bad, I can't stand it!