Moldy Oldies....The Vacation:0

We've been away at the beach for a week....which was an interesting "vacation"....You may know someone with Asperger's if your vacation looks like mine;

You always go to the same place....Or at least a similar place.
The place you stay must be an atmosphere that is as clean, or cleaner than your home.
The same routine must be able to be maintained, to a point.

J was lovely enough to book a bungalow at Virginia Beach consciously keeping in mind that I have a few quirks....I don't like crowds, noise etc. and I like to have my daughter with me. This bungalow could house the three of us and the the dog....Oh happy day....

These bungalows are right on a quiet, private beach where there is no boardwalk, no crowds and we were going to be there during the week...Perfect for retarded ole me! So, we get to VA beach a bit early and I call to see if we can check in a bit early....YAY, one's ready!! As we're standing at the desk, the lady keeps saying that the bungalows are "old"...

"Old, what do you mean by old?" I reply.

"Well, they're World War 2 era, so the floors are a little creaky", she says.

That's it. I tell her that that's ok. We have creaky floors, no biggie. Then she mentions the early departure fee.

Over and over and over.....This should have been a HUGE clue.....EARLY Departure fee.....why would we want to depart early.....Maybe because

IT SUCKS!!!!

I'll admit it; I'm a bit picky, if I'm paying for a hotel, bungalow, whatever I like it to be CLEAN! Mold free....have a television larger than my laptop screen......


J says I complain too much....We weren't given anything here, he paid for this mold infested, cracker-box. I may have kept my mouth shut if they would have said "Oh, no it's on us!"

There weren't even light blocking curtains....not that I care....I'm up at the crack of dawn anyway....But I know that he likes to sleep.

So, am I picky....Yes, when I'm paying for it....I expect it to be clean, neat and in good working order. This was none of those things. I should be comfortable, at least as comfortable as I am in my own home. Maybe more so. For someone with AS, this is critical, and I was NOT comfy.

Did I complain? You bet. Did it get us anywhere....NOPE.

Trying to change a person with AS or Autism and their habits is a losing battle. Unless, it's a habit that is damaging them you can only deal with it and I'll give an example;

A long time ago I had a friend that was married to a man with severe OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). The disorder didn't disrupt their daily life in, or outside, the home, but he had quirks that took up time that they could spend together. He was highly and almost irrationally organized. Certain colored hangers for certain clothes, watches and sunglasses a certain way, etc. Initially, my friend didn't understand this need for order and it took up so much time that she just got frustrated. She felt that by encouraging it, it would make it worse. The opposite was true...By stressing him out he began organizing other things to de-stress. So, in an effort to save time one day, she hung his clothes on the hangers the way that he liked and put them in the closet the way that he hung them up. Pants going a certain way, shirts on the left. When he got home from work and realized the effort and love that she had put into the clothes in the closet he was very appreciative and felt very cared for and accepted. He was overcome enough to tell me about it for goodness sake:)

It's easy to criticize people's quirks, it's harder to accept them and harder still to dig into what creates and keeps them anchored there. The fastest way to find change is through acceptance and love.